How to support your child to fall asleep alone
Firstly when it comes to learning how to support your Small to fall asleep alone, just know that I’m always here for reassurance that feeding, rocking or supporting your Small to sleep are never bad habits and they only ever need to stop if you want to (check out my last few posts for even more reassurance!)
I also want to add that changing how they fall asleep isn’t always the game changer it’s often claimed to be!
There’s no guarantee supporting your Small to fall asleep alone will improve their nap length or night sleep (although for some it can be a game changer!)
But if how they go to sleep isn’t sustainable or you want to make a change I’m here to help you do this without sleep training or leaving them to cry to settle themselves to sleep
Here’s what you should know about how to support your child to fall asleep alone:
Change takes time
Making a big change like this is going to take time and chances are your Small will take much longer to fall asleep, especially at the start. And this is all part of the process and we can’t avoid them getting a bit overtired! But it’s likely to be only temporary and should settle. It’s also likely to take 2-4 weeks on my approach- always honest my approach isn’t a quick fix and will take time.
Is there a simpler solution?
I’m always looking for the path of least resistance and thinking what’s the easiest way to get you where you want to be!
Could you cuddle or feed to sleep in their sleep space first and then gradually move away from what’s getting them to sleep? This could completely do away with the tricky transfer and make this change a bit easier.
If you’re thinking of transitioning them to a toddler or floor can you cuddle or feed them to sleep there to start with?
Could you stop feeding or rocking just before they fall asleep and do that last bit of falling asleep in their sleep space?
Have Extremely low expectations
Chances are they aren’t going to crack falling asleep by themselves on the first try or even in the first few evenings. So take off that expectation and think of it as…
No pressure practice
If we go into a change thinking they’ve got to do it we can feel like a failure when it doesn’t work. But if we have the mindset it’s about practising something new and seeing if it works it can take off that pressure. Change on my approach is always about getting curious and giving them the chance to do something different but if it doesn’t work that time they have still had a bit of practice.
And it often needs a lot of practice and patience to happen!
Speaking of time…
Try a time limit
I love putting a time limit on changes because it gives you the opportunity to try something different but it doesn’t make it feel too overwhelming.
And this limit could look like trying to settle them in a different way at bedtime for a few days or the amount of time you try to settle them each evening. For example, if you decide to settle them at bedtime for 30 minutes and after this trying time they aren’t settled you can settle them in their usual way. It comes back to that no-pressure practice!
Improvement isn’t always instant
It can take repetition and a good chunk of time before we can see changes are working - Small steps make big changes.
You might want to stop feeding to sleep or support your Small to fall asleep in their cot or bed.
But this can feel a million miles away from where you are now - this is because it is!
It’s unrealistic to expect your Small to go from doing something they are used to and likely need to get to sleep to doing something completely different.
So the key to making a big change on my approach is step it down!
Stepping it down to support your chid to fall asleep alone can look like…
If you want to move away from feeding to sleep try unlatching them just before they fall asleep and pat or rock them to sleep for that last little bit,
If you want to stop rocking to sleep try standing still or gently swaying as they are just falling asleep,
If you want to support them to fall asleep in their sleep space, cuddle or feed them to sleep and just before they fall asleep transfer them to their cot/bed and pat them all the way to sleep.
Need more support with supporting your child to fall asleep alone?
My bedtime boundaries course talks you through all the steps you need to move away from feeding, rocking or patting to sleep to your child falling asleep alone in their sleep space
And FYI there’s no talk of sleep training or leaving them to cry themselves to sleep.
