Comforters don’t always cut it!
I don’t suggest introducing a transitional object AKA comforter on my sleep approach as a general practice or strategy to improve your sleep. It certainly doesn’t mean it’s wrong though!
This is for three main reasons:
The Lullaby Trust’s safer sleep guidelines state a clear cot is a safer cot under 12 months old
Comforters don’t always cut it. However cute it is, it isn’t a given to improve your sleep (I’m very sorry to say!)
We can’t control if they’ll find it comforting. And sometimes trying to get them attached can be even more frustrating!
I’ve supported lots of families to move away from feeding to sleep (breast or bottle) and/or to a settled night’s sleep without introducing a comforter.
However, like most things on my approach:
There’s no right or wrong way
It will always depend on your baby
It’s all about your parenting preference
If you have a comforter and it’s working for you, your Small and their sleep there’s absolutely no need to stop.
I feel the word comforter can be a little misleading because if your Small:
needs a breast or bottle feed
is hungry
is crying and therefore has a genuine need
needs reassurance from you
biologically can’t stitch their sleep cycle together
Then a comforter, however cute it might be, isn’t going to cut it, help them to self-regulate (calm down!) or magically get them back to sleep.
It’s very rare a Small will take comfort from their comforter if there’s a biological reason why they can’t fall asleep or stitch a sleep cycle together. You also can’t force them to take a comforter, despite your best attempts if they aren’t into it... the comforter just gets chucked about!
When will a comforter cut it?
I’m certainly not against or anti comforters. In fact, I’m not anti-anything!
If you’re happy to introduce a comforter and they take to it, it can be super useful in these situations:
When starting childcare
They need to nap at nursery
Someone else is settling them to sleep
I feel the key is to remember they will be ok without it and keep off the pressure they’ve got to get attached to one!
If you’re introducing a comforter here are my suggestions:
Put it down your top or at the bottom of your bed for a few nights to pick up your smell.
Be consistent with it and have it every time you feed or settle them to sleep.
Keep it just for bedtime or those times when they’re upset and need it to calm down.
Give them plenty of practice and patience to accept it. They’re unlikely to get attached straight away.
And finally buy three of the same comforters then rotate two and have a spare just in case!
Are they chucking their comforter?
1) It’s always worth checking are they actually tired enough? Lots do this as a distraction for sure but sometimes it’s because we are trying to settle them to sleep too early!
2) Try not to ask them all the questions. Why did you throw that out? Why did you do that again? Why aren’t you sleeping?
3) Try to wait until they are communicating to you that they want it back rather than handing it straight back. It quickly becomes a fun and tiring game if we return it rapidly!
4) Calmly replace it back in their bed without too much of a fuss. I’d always say Baba isn’t for throwing he’s for cuddling 🤍