All About Bed-Sharing
There's often a LOT of sleep shame and stigma about bringing your Small into your bed at night.
That you're being lazy
That it's undoing everything
That they will be in your bed forever
That it's creating bad habits
That it's giving in
But this is most certainly not the case, especially on my approach!
Where your Small sleeps is your bed business. The main thing as always is that it's working for YOU.
Bringing your Small into your bed whether it's for:
The whole night
Part of the night
The final last bit
Waking up together
Does not mean you are:
Being lazy, it's maximising everyone's sleep
Undoing anything, because sleep isn't a straight-line process or progression
Going to be sharing your bed forever, as everything is a phase and nothing is permanent
Creating bad habits, because there aren't any. There’s no right or wrong way, only things that work for YOU.
Giving in, because parenting isn't a battle to be won, and giving you both what you need in the moment is what matters.
Bed-sharing isn’t going to work for every single family, Bed-sharing honestly isn’t for every family, and it might not be the best sleep set up for YOU. When I carry out my Sleep Consulting services, my Mantra is always that every family is unique and if it works for you then it works!
This blog is NOT about promoting or pushing you to bed-share!
You are your family’s expert, but this blog is for you if you’re:
Currently bed-sharing and would love some reassurance
Considering bed-sharing and would love some reassurance
Looking for safer sleep advice whilst bed-sharing
The low down on Bed-sharing
What is bed-sharing?
Bed-sharing is simply sharing the same sleep surface as your baby. It’s also often referred to as co-sleeping.
Who is bed-sharing for?
It’s for all families who want to!
When can you bed-share?
As long as your baby was born full-term and is healthy you can bed share when you want to.
What are the benefits of bed-sharing?
It can maximise your night-time sleep because you’re not having to get out of bed at wake-ups, and it’s often easier for you to fall back to sleep afterwards!
It can maximise your Small’s sleep too. It does away with the tricky transfer and it can prioritise them falling asleep in their sleep space. Both can support them to stitch their sleep cycles!
It can help ease your stress and anxiety knowing your Small is right there and you can respond straight away if needed.
It can really help to ease night-time sleep separation anxiety.
It can help support your breastfeeding relationship and supply.
It’s lovely to wake up together and see your Small smiling. What a way to start your day!
Learn more about Bed-sharing in my podcast with Tiffany Belanger, AKA Cosleepy.
How can you make Bed-sharing safer?
Tiffany from Cosleepy.com shares a few tips for safer bed-sharing:
Non-smoking and sober parents only
Each adult in bed should be a non-smoker, as second-hand smoke affects your baby's arousal mechanism.
Each adult should also be sober and free from any illness/condition that causes altered consciousness, marked drowsiness, or affects your awareness of your baby.
Your baby should be healthy and at full term.
Baby should sleep on their back
Other than when they are nursing on their side, your baby needs to sleep on their back. Make sure their head is level with your breasts. You should protect them from inching up, down, or to the side as they sleep by situating yourself in the "cuddle curl" position.
No Sweat: Baby should be lightly dressed
without your pillow or blankets nearby. It is not safe to swaddle while bed-sharing. Keep the thermostat between 60-68°F (16-20°C).The sleep area should be a Safe surface
Every bed should be free of anything that dangles or tangles (e.g. cords, strings, scarves, ribbons, elastics).
Avoid the following smothering risks -
- Softness or sagging that rolls your baby against you or keeps them from lifting their head free
- Spaces between mattress and headboard, side rails, or wall where your baby could get stuck
- Siblings or pets (at least for your baby's first year)
Learn more about Bed-sharing
If you would like to hear more about Bed-sharing, you can listen to my free podcast where I chat to Tiffany Belanger, AKA Cosleepy here.